The short version: Say a number first if you can, back it up with one piece of market evidence, then stop talking. Most people lose money in a salary negotiation not because they asked for too much but because they filled the silence after asking, and talked themselves back down. The words matter less than the pause that comes after them.
The script I use, word for word
I’ve sat on both sides of this table. I’ve hired people, I’ve been the candidate, and for the past few years I’ve coached clients through the exact moment where a company names a number and expects a yes. Here’s what I tell them to say, and it works whether you’re negotiating a first job offer or a raise after four years in the same seat:
“Thank you, I’m excited about this. Based on what this role involves and what similar positions are paying in the market, I was expecting something closer to [number]. Is there flexibility there?”
Then you stop. Not “but I understand if not.” Not “obviously I’m flexible too.” Just stop and let them answer.
That sentence does three jobs at once. It confirms you want the role, so they don’t panic and think you’re walking. It anchors a specific number, not a vague “more.” And it asks a direct question, which forces them to respond rather than let the moment drift.
Before you say anything, do this
The words only work if you’ve done the boring bit first. You need three numbers before you go into any conversation about pay:
- The market range for the exact job title and level, pulled from at least two sources (Glassdoor, LinkedIn Salary, a recruiter you trust, or a specific site like our breakdown of what remote software developer jobs really pay, which is a good model for how to research any role even outside tech)
- Your walk-away number, the lowest figure you’d accept and still feel good about it
- Your opening ask, which should sit above the top of the market range, not in the middle of it
I tell every client the same thing: if you’re not slightly uncomfortable with your opening number, it’s too low. When I negotiated my first proper marketing role, back before I ran anything of my own, I was offered 28,000 pounds a year for a manager title at a small agency in Manchester. Market rate for that role at that time was somewhere between 32,000 and 38,000. I asked for 36,000. My stomach dropped as I said it out loud. They came back at 33,500 within two days. I’d have taken 30,000 if they’d pushed, but they never had to, because I didn’t ask for 30,000 in the first place.
What to say when they give you a number
Most negotiations fall apart here because people say “okay, sounds good” out of relief. Instead, try:
“That’s helpful, thank you. Can you walk me through how that number was set, in terms of banding or budget?”
This does something subtle: it treats the number as a starting position, not a final decision, without you having to be confrontational about it. Most hiring managers will tell you honestly whether there’s a fixed band or genuine room to move. If they say there’s a band, ask where in the band the offer sits. If it’s at the bottom, that’s your opening.
If the number is close to what you wanted, you can still push once. Something like:
“I appreciate that. Given [specific thing, e.g. the extra responsibility for managing the East region, or the fact I’m bringing three years of relevant experience they didn’t ask for], would there be room to get to [number], even if it takes a small delay to sort out?”
The silence trick nobody tells you about
Here’s the bit that separates people who get an extra 3,000 pounds from people who get an extra 15,000: after you name your number or ask your question, you say nothing else. Not one word. Recruiters are trained to sit through silence. Most candidates aren’t, and they crumble in under ten seconds, adding “but I’m flexible” or “just wanted to put it out there” and handing back everything they just asked for.
Count to five in your head if you have to. On a call, five seconds feels enormous. It is not enormous to the person on the other end, who does this for a living. Let them speak next.
What to say if they say no
Sometimes there is no room, especially in the public sector or a large corporate with fixed pay bands. Your next line shouldn’t be an immediate cave. Try:
“I understand the base is fixed. Is there flexibility elsewhere, a signing bonus, extra holiday, a review at three months instead of twelve, or remote flexibility?”
This is where a lot of people miss real money because they’re fixated on the headline salary. A three-month review with a written commitment to revisit pay is worth asking for by name, not as a vague “can we chat again soon.” Get the date in the offer letter. I’ve seen clients get an extra 4,000 to 6,000 pounds at the three-month mark purely because they’d secured that review in writing at the offer stage, rather than hoping someone remembered.
If none of that moves, you can close with:
“I understand. I’d still like to move forward at [their number], and I’d like to revisit this formally in six months with clear goals attached. Can we put that in writing?”
That’s not giving up. That’s negotiating the next negotiation.
Negotiating a raise instead of a new offer
This is the conversation people avoid, because it feels riskier than negotiating with a new employer who barely knows you. But the same script structure holds, with one change: you need to lead with evidence of impact, not market rate, because your manager already knows the market rate and is choosing whether to act on it.
“I wanted to talk about my compensation. Over the past year I’ve [specific thing: taken on the client relationship for the two biggest accounts, cut turnaround time on X by 30%, brought in two new contracts worth Y]. Based on that and what similar roles are paying externally, I’d like us to look at moving my salary to [number]. What would need to be true for that to happen?”
That last question, “what would need to be true,” is one I picked up watching how Ramit Sethi frames money conversations, and I’ve stolen it shamelessly because it works. It turns a yes/no moment into a plan, and most managers would rather give you a plan than a flat refusal, because a plan doesn’t feel like conflict to them.
The bit most negotiation advice skips
Here’s the uncomfortable part. A lot of career coaches will tell you to get a competing offer before you negotiate, because “use” (their word, not one I’ll use twice) is everything. In practice, most people don’t have a second offer sitting in their inbox, and waiting for one means the actual conversation never happens. I’ve watched clients spend six months “building use” instead of just asking the question, and they left money on the table for half a year they’ll never get back.
You don’t need a competing offer. You need one specific number and the willingness to sit in silence after saying it. Companies budget for negotiation. Recruiters have told me directly, off the record, that the number in the offer letter is rarely the ceiling, it’s the number they expect roughly seventy percent of candidates to accept without pushing back. If you’re in the thirty percent who ask, you’re not being difficult. You’re just not leaving free money on the table that was already set aside for someone who would ask.
A quick story that changes how you should think about this
A client of mine, a project manager applying for a role that would let her work from home three days a week, was offered 47,000 pounds against a market range she’d researched at 45,000 to 54,000. She used the exact opening script above, anchored at 52,000, and the recruiter came back within a day at 50,500 plus an extra day of annual leave. She almost didn’t ask, because the offer was already “fine.” Fine isn’t the bar. Market rate is the bar. If you’re weighing that kind of flexible arrangement against a fully remote role, it’s worth reading our piece on deciding between full-time and part-time remote work before you even get to the pay conversation, because the structure of the role often changes what you should be asking for in the first place.
What to say over email, when there’s no call
Written negotiation feels harder because there’s no tone, no silence to sit in, but it’s easier to get the wording right because you can draft it twice. Keep it short:
“Thank you for the offer, I’m keen to move forward. Based on my research into similar roles and the scope of this position, I’d like to propose [number]. Happy to jump on a call if that’s easier to discuss.”
Don’t over-explain. Don’t apologise for asking. Don’t add three paragraphs of justification, one solid reason is enough, and padding it out makes you sound unsure of your own number.
What not to say
- “I was hoping for more, but I understand if you can’t.” You’ve negotiated against yourself before they’ve even replied.
- “I need this for [personal financial reason].” Your mortgage isn’t their problem, and bringing it up shifts the conversation from your market value to your circumstances.
- “Is this your final offer?” It invites a yes, which closes the door you’re trying to keep open.
- Naming a range instead of a number. “Somewhere between 40 and 45” gets you 40, every time.
If you’re at the offer stage of a new job entirely, it’s worth reading our full breakdown on how to negotiate a higher salary during a job offer, which goes into the timing questions this piece doesn’t, like when in the process to raise money at all.
Practising it out loud
Say your opening line out loud, alone, at least five times before the conversation. Not in your head, out loud, in the room. The number will feel strange coming out of your mouth the first two or three times. By the fifth time it sounds normal, and normal is exactly the tone you want when you say it to a person whose job is to talk you down from it.
Frequently asked questions
What is the best thing to say first in a salary negotiation?
Confirm your interest in the role, state the specific number you want, and reference market evidence in one sentence. Then stop talking. For example: “I’m keen to move forward, and based on similar roles I was expecting closer to 52,000, is there flexibility there?”
Should I give a number or wait for them to give theirs?
Give a number if you can, especially if you’ve done proper market research. Whoever anchors first usually controls where the conversation ends up. If they insist you go first and you’re truly unsure of the range, it’s fine to say “I’d like to understand the budgeted range for this role before we discuss a specific number.”
Is it rude to negotiate a salary offer?
No, and most hiring managers expect it. Recruiters routinely build room into an initial offer, so pushing back is rarely seen as difficult, it’s seen as normal, and it often makes candidates seem more confident in the role rather than less.
What if they say the salary is fixed and there’s no room to negotiate?
Ask about everything else: signing bonus, extra holiday, a formal three or six month pay review, remote flexibility, or a job title change that affects future roles. Get any agreement in writing before you accept, since verbal promises about “revisiting it soon” rarely survive past the first week in the job.
Further reading
Related reading: How I Use AI to Write a Month of Marketing Content in One Afternoon (The Exact System, Step by Step) and How I Use AI to Write a Month of Social Media Content in 90 Minutes (The Exact System, Not the Fluff).
