What Is Catfishing? Meaning, Warning Signs and Safety

The photos are lovely, the messages are attentive and the person on the other end seems almost too good to be true. Then every video call gets cancelled and the story never quite adds up. If that sounds familiar, you may have come across a catfish.

I've pulled this guide together from Wikipedia's summary of the topic and from UK fraud-prevention advice, so you can understand what catfishing is, spot the warning signs and know what to do if you think you're being deceived. It's general information, not legal or counselling advice.

What catfishing means on social media and dating apps

Catfishing is creating a fake online persona, usually on social media or a dating app, to deceive someone. Wikipedia notes that the aim can be to lure a person into an online romantic relationship or to commit fraud. Some people do it to feel more popular, to experiment with their identity, or to hide who they are while harassing others.

The word comes from the 2010 documentary Catfish, made by Nev Schulman after he was deceived online. MTV's Catfish: The TV Show has followed people investigating suspected fake profiles since 2012, and the term became widely used from 2013.

Why a catfish builds a fake identity

Wikipedia lists several motives. They don't make the behaviour any less harmful for the person on the receiving end, but they explain why it keeps happening:

• Sexual, financial or social gain.
• Avoiding responsibility, because anonymity can lower people's inhibitions.
• Exploring gender or sexual identity.
• Trolling, bullying or harassing someone while staying hidden.

Catfishing is also a core tactic in romance scams, where the relationship is only a way to get at someone's funds or personal details.

Catfishing warning signs to look for

No single sign proves someone is a catfish, but a cluster of them is worth taking seriously. Wikipedia and UK crime-prevention and trading standards advice point to the same patterns:

• They refuse video calls or phone calls, or always have an excuse.
• They keep postponing or cancelling plans to meet in person.
• Their name, photos or story don't stay consistent.
• The photos look unusually polished, as if taken from a model or actor.
• They declare strong feelings very early on.
• They ask you to keep the relationship secret from friends and family.
• They ask for money, often with an emotional backstory or a promise to pay it back.

Catfishing, kittenfishing and chatfishing

Term	What it means
Catfishing	Building a fake persona or identity to deceive someone
Kittenfishing	Smaller exaggerations or untruths on dating apps, such as old photos
Chatfishing	Using computer-generated text to carry on conversations on dating apps

The difference is scale. Kittenfishing is a smaller kind of dishonesty, while catfishing means the person you're talking to isn't who they claim to be at all. Intense early affection, sometimes called love bombing, can also be part of this pattern.

How to check whether a profile is a catfish

Council trading standards teams recommend a few simple checks before you get emotionally invested:

1. Search their name. See whether they appear on other platforms and whether the details match.
2. Try a reverse image search. Searching with their profile photo can show whether the picture belongs to someone else.
3. Look for repeated phrases. Copy a distinctive line from their messages into a search engine alongside the words "dating scam".
4. Ask for a video call early. A real person with nothing to hide can usually manage a short call.
5. Keep personal details private. Don't share your full name, address or date of birth with someone you haven't met.

What to do if you think you're being catfished

Stop sending anything. Crimestoppers repeats the Action Fraud advice not to send money, give someone access to your bank account, move funds on their behalf or take out a loan for them if you haven't met them in person.

If you've already shared financial details, contact your bank straight away. Bromley Trading Standards says you can call 159 to reach your bank, and the Citizens Advice consumer helpline is 0808 223 1133. You can also report romance fraud to Action Fraud.

Being deceived is not a sign that you did anything wrong. It can leave you feeling embarrassed, lonely or low, and your GP, a counsellor or a therapist can help you talk it through. If you're struggling, Samaritans is free to call on 116 123, 24 hours a day.

Putting your dating advice in front of readers

If you coach people on dating safely, or write about modern relationships, plenty of readers would value a clear explanation of how to spot a fake profile.

Relationship coaches and dating writers can look through dating blogs that accept contributor articles.

Staying safe once you decide to meet

If a profile passes your checks, the next step is a safe first meeting. My list of first date red flags to watch for covers what to look out for, and my guide on what ghosting means in dating explains what it might mean if the conversation suddenly goes silent.

Frequently asked questions

Is catfishing illegal?

Creating a fake profile isn't automatically a crime, but using one to obtain money or personal details is fraud. If you've been asked for money, report it to Action Fraud and tell your bank.

Where does the word catfish come from?

Wikipedia says it comes from the 2010 documentary Catfish, produced by Nev Schulman, who had himself been deceived online. It became widely used around 2013.

Can you be catfished without being asked for money?

Yes. Some people create fake profiles for attention, to harass others or to gain trust, so a lack of requests for money doesn't prove someone is who they say they are.

What is the difference between catfishing and a romance scam?

Catfishing is the fake identity. A romance scam is when that identity is used to get money or personal details from you.

Who can I talk to if I've been catfished?

A trusted friend, your GP, a counsellor or a therapist can help. Samaritans is free to call on 116 123 at any time if you're struggling.