How to DM on TikTok: Send Messages, Requests and Group Chats

That last part trips up a lot of people. You can send a message request, but TikTok only lets you send one until it's accepted. So the first message has to count.

Three ways to start a TikTok DM

From your inbox

1. Tap Inbox at the bottom of the app.
2. Tap a name from your Messages list to open an existing chat.
3. Or, in some regions, tap the Chat button at the top and search for someone you follow who follows you back.
4. Type your message and tap Send.

From someone's profile

Go to their profile and tap Message. If you both follow each other, it opens a normal chat. If not, you're sending a message request.

By sharing a video

Tap the Share button on any video, choose the person's profile photo, add an optional note and send. You can do the same with effects, hashtags and sounds. Private videos can't be shared, and if a creator later makes a shared video private, it stops playing in your chat.

How message requests work

This is where most 'TikTok won't let me message' questions come from. Here's the system in one table:

Situation	What happens
You both follow each other	Your message goes straight to their inbox
They don't follow you	It arrives as a message request
You've sent one request	You can't send another until they accept
They delete or ignore it	You can't message them again
They're under 18	Message requests are off by default

The catch people don't expect: if your request is deleted or ignored, that's it. TikTok won't let you send a second one. So say who you are and why you're writing in the first message, rather than sending a quick 'hi' and hoping.

What you can send in a TikTok DM

• Text, emojis, GIFs and stickers from the Emoji button.
• Reactions and replies: press and hold any message.
• Voice messages of up to 60 seconds.
• Videos, sounds, hashtags and effects through the Share button.

Group chats

Private group chats are for friends: only people who follow each other can invite you. When you share something to several people at once, TikTok lets you pick up to 31. Public group chats, where they're available, can have up to 300 members and can be found by others, so treat anything you post there as public.

Deleting a message you regret

Press and hold the message and tap Delete. You'll see two choices. Delete for me only removes it from your side. Delete for everyone removes it for both of you, but only within 3 minutes of sending. After that window, the other person keeps it. More on that in our guide to deleting TikTok messages.

Why your TikTok DM won't send

• Age. Accounts under 16 can't use direct messages.
• Their settings. They may have set direct messages to friends only or turned off requests.
• A pending request. You've already sent one and they haven't accepted.
• A block. If they've blocked you, you can't message them.
• A DM restriction on your account. TikTok says a message that breaks its rules can lead to a pause on sending DMs, typically between 24 and 48 hours, or longer for repeat problems.

If you think a restriction was a mistake, you can appeal from the notification in your inbox.

Controlling who can DM you

Go to Profile, the menu, Settings and privacy, Privacy, then Direct messages. You can choose who can message you and whether requests come in at all. In the same place you'll find filtered keywords, which hide messages containing words you choose. Bear in mind this setting also controls who can call you, which we cover in our guide to TikTok read receipts alongside the other DM privacy options.

Writing a first DM that gets a reply

Since you only get one message request, here's a simple structure that works for creators, brands and anyone reaching out cold:

1. Say who you are in one line, for example 'I run a small candle shop in Leeds'.
2. Mention something specific you liked about their content, so it's clearly not a copy-and-paste message.
3. Ask one clear question or make one clear offer.
4. Keep it short enough to read without scrolling.

Avoid sending links in a first message request. People are rightly wary of links from strangers, and TikTok's safe mode may filter messages it thinks look risky into a separate filtered requests folder.

Where filtered messages go

If someone says they messaged you and you can't see it, check Message requests in your inbox, then the Filtered requests button at the top. TikTok's safe mode, which is on by default, moves messages that look sensitive or come from risky sources there. You can accept, delete or report each one.

DMs for small businesses

Customers often message a brand on TikTok instead of emailing. If that's you, a few habits keep things tidy. Reply within a day where you can, because a slow reply on social feels slower than email. Move order problems to email or your help desk once you've answered the first question, so there's a record. And never ask customers to send card details or passwords in a chat. TikTok notes that messages with business accounts may be managed through other platforms, so customers should know who's reading.

My advice

For creators and small businesses, DMs are where collaborations start, so write your first message like a short email: who you are, what you liked, what you're asking for. And for everyone, spend thirty seconds in the Direct messages settings. It's the quickest privacy win on the app.

Frequently asked questions

Why can't I DM someone on TikTok?

They may not accept messages from people they don't follow, you may already have a pending request, they may have blocked you, or your account may be under 16 or temporarily restricted from sending DMs.

How old do you have to be to DM on TikTok?

Direct messaging is available to registered accounts aged 16 and older.

Can you unsend a message on TikTok?

Yes, within 3 minutes. Press and hold the message, tap Delete, then Delete for everyone.

Can I send more than one message request?

No. You can send one message request, and you can't send more until the person accepts it.