Divorce mediation is where a trained, neutral mediator helps you and your ex agree on children, finances and property without a judge deciding for you. In England and Wales you usually have to attend a first meeting called a MIAM before you can go to court, and a government voucher of up to £500 can help pay for mediation in eligible cases.
Mediation isn't the divorce itself. You still apply for the divorce separately. Mediation is how you sort out the arrangements that come with it, and it's usually quicker and cheaper than asking a court to decide.
Here's the process, what it costs, and the step people forget that turns a mediated agreement into something a court can enforce. These rules are for England and Wales; Scotland and Northern Ireland work differently.
What mediation can settle
The Ministry of Justice describes family mediation as a process where a trained independent mediator helps you work out arrangements with an ex-partner about children, finance or property. GOV.UK adds that mediation isn't relationship counselling, and you don't have to be in the same room or on the same call as your ex.
- where the children will live and how much time they'll spend with each parent
- how you'll support the children financially
- how to divide savings, investments, property and pensions
- changes later on, for example as children grow up
Step one: the MIAM
A MIAM is a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting. The Family Mediation Council says it lasts about an hour and gives you the chance to explain your situation while the mediator checks whether mediation suits you. You can attend together or separately.
If you want a court to decide most children or financial disputes, you'll usually need to show you've attended a MIAM, unless you're exempt. Only mediators accredited by the Family Mediation Council can sign the court form, and the council says they can do so if you attended the MIAM within the last four months.
| Cost or fee | Amount (as of October 2026) | Source |
|---|---|---|
| MIAM, per person | About £120 as a guide | Family Mediation Council |
| Mediation voucher | Up to £500 towards mediation, if eligible | Ministry of Justice |
| Applying for a child arrangements court order | £270 | GOV.UK |
| Fee to send a consent order | £62 (civil partnership or legal separation) | GOV.UK |
| With legal aid | MIAM and mediation cost you nothing | Family Mediation Council |
The £500 mediation voucher
The voucher is a contribution of up to £500 towards mediation costs for eligible cases. GOV.UK's child arrangements guide says you can get it regardless of what you earn. The catch is how you get it: you don't apply online. At your MIAM, the mediator will discuss the scheme and offer a voucher if your case is suitable, depending on case type and whether vouchers are still available.
That's the insight worth acting on. If you've got children and you're considering mediation, ask the mediator about the voucher at the very first meeting, before you commit to sessions.
Making your mediated agreement legally binding
This is the step people miss. GOV.UK says if your financial agreement isn't legally binding, a court can't enforce it if problems come up later. To make it binding you draft a consent order and ask a court to approve it.
- Agree the terms in mediation and get the mediator's written summary.
- Have a solicitor or divorce specialist draft the consent order, or draft it with legal advice.
- Both of you sign the draft consent order and complete a statement of information form.
- Send it to the court after you've got the conditional order (decree nisi) and, ideally, before the final order, because GOV.UK warns that applying after the final order can have financial consequences, particularly for pensions.
- The order takes effect once the final order is made.
For child arrangements, GOV.UK says you don't need official paperwork if you agree, but you can make the agreement binding the same way, with a consent order a judge approves. If co-parenting logistics are the sticking point, my guide to the best co-parenting apps covers tools for shared calendars and expenses.
What happens in a mediation session
After the MIAM, if you both agree to try it, the mediator books your first joint session. GOV.UK says sessions can be in person or remote, by video or phone, and that you don't have to be in the same room or call as your ex. If it suits your family, the mediator can also talk to your child about what they want, which GOV.UK calls child-inclusive mediation.
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The mediator doesn't take sides or make decisions. Their job is to keep the conversation on the practical questions, help you test options, and write down what you agree so a solicitor can turn it into a consent order. If you can't agree on everything, the mediator will explain the other routes, including going to court.
When mediation isn't right
Mediation relies on both of you being able to negotiate safely. GOV.UK points people who are victims of domestic abuse towards legal aid and other help, and there are exemptions from the MIAM requirement. A mediator will also tell you if they don't think mediation suits your case.
My verdict
If you can talk to each other at all, go to a MIAM before you spend anything on court. Ask about the £500 voucher on day one. And don't stop at a handshake deal: get a consent order, especially if pensions are involved. My workplace pension guide explains why pension pots are often the biggest asset after the house. For your own case, a family solicitor or an accredited mediator is the right person to advise you.
Frequently asked questions
What is divorce mediation?
It's a process where a trained independent mediator helps you and your ex agree arrangements for children, finances or property, so a judge doesn't have to decide.
Is mediation compulsory before court in the UK?
For most children and financial applications in England and Wales you must attend a MIAM first, unless you're exempt. You don't have to carry on with mediation after it.
How much does a MIAM cost?
The Family Mediation Council says to expect about £120 per person as a guide, and nothing if you get legal aid.
How do I get the £500 mediation voucher?
The mediator will discuss it at your MIAM and offer a voucher if your case is eligible and vouchers are available. It's a contribution of up to £500 towards mediation.
Is a mediation agreement legally binding?
Not by itself. To make a financial agreement binding you need a consent order approved by the court.
